Just Between Friends Page 17

  “Good,” she stated. “I must be going.” As she turned to leave, Mary asked, “Honey, won’t you at least eat something first? You haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

  She shook her head, “No, Mama, I couldn’t eat anything right now. Save me something, alright? I’ll eat when I return.” Not waiting for a response, she then hurried and gathered her coat and ran to her buggy, which hadn’t yet been unhitched. She didn’t exactly know what she expected to find, she just knew she had to go.

  ***

  It was beginning to grow darker by the time Miranda reached the area where Alec had found Sarah. She was feeling a little uneasy, and wasn’t sure if it was because of the darkness and fog, or some other reason. She gathered her coat closer around her neck, for the weather was growing much colder. As she listened to all the sounds around her, she could hear the screeching of an owl in the distance.

  Lifting her chin high, she climbed to the ground. It was so foggy by now she could barely see even a few feet in front of her, but she made her way to the house that Sarah had been sitting in. She didn’t know what to do next, so she just started talking.

  “Steven,” she began, “I know you’re out there somewhere, and maybe you can’t hear me with your ears, but please, listen with your heart. Whatever the problem is that’s keeping you from me, Steven I promise you, I can deal with it. What I can’t deal with any longer is living without you. You’re my life Steven, don’t you see that? My life is no good without you. I’ve tried to go on, but I can’t.”

  She was beginning to cry. “It feels as if my heart can never be repaired. This is no kind of life, Steven, for me or you. Please, come back to me. There’s nothing the two of us can’t deal with, as long as we’re together.”

  She grew silent. Tears were streaming down her face. Then for some reason she started feeling angry and started yelling. “Go ahead then, stay away! You’ve made your choice I guess. Maybe it’s just your way of letting me know you no longer love me! Maybe that’s why you’ve stayed away! Maybe you’ve met someone else, and didn’t want to hurt me. But at least be a man, and be honest with me. If that’s what it is, I have the right to know, don’t I?”

  She grew silent once more and tried to compose herself. She was feeling foolish. But all these thoughts had been building inside her and she had had to let them out.

  There was no use staying any longer, she thought. She had been foolish to come here, just another of her fanciful notions. But as she turned to leave, she glanced back once more. Her voice softened, as she proclaimed, “Steven, I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing can ever change that.” She turned once again and started toward the buggy, when something made the blood drain from her face.

  “Miranda baby, I love you too.”

  She froze. She would know that voice anywhere. Her heart was pounding so hard. As she slowly turned around and squinted her eyes, she could barely make out a figure standing by the chimney of the burned down house. It was moving slowly toward her. She was shaking all over, but she spoke, voice quivering, “Steven?”

  As the figure drew closer, she could barely breathe. He had reached her now and reaching out his hand, touched her face. He heard her intake of breath. “Miranda?” he spoke once more.

  She didn’t know what to say or do. She was spinning.

  “Miranda, baby, are you alright?” He asked softly.

  Her senses were finally returning to her. “Steven?” She softly whispered. Reaching out, she touched his arm to see if he was real, or only an illusion. “Is it really you?”

  “Yes baby, it’s really me,” he assured her.

  “Oh!” She gasped. “Steven!” She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he gathered her to him.

  “Shh,” he soothed, as he stroked her hair.

  “I thought you was dead, Steven,” she cried. “Where have you been?” She didn’t want to leave his embrace. She felt so whole again, so alive. This had to be a dream. It couldn’t be possible to feel this happy.

  They held each other a long time. When they finally pulled apart, they just stared at each other, tears streaming down their faces.

  Steven was the first to speak, as he cupped her face between his hands and tilting her head just slightly, stared into her eyes. How can this be? He thought. It had been so long since he had held her like this, and he had thought he never would again. Now, here she was.

  “I’m so sorry, Miranda. Maybe I shouldn’t have let you think I was dead, but I didn’t see how I had any other choice.”

  Right now, she didn’t care. All she cared about was that he was alive and here with her now. “Oh, Steven,” she said lovingly, as she touched his face. “I’ve missed you so much.” Reaching out, she embraced him once more.

  When she started to pull free he stopped her and lowered his lips to hers. It was a small kiss at first that deepened into something more. But It was more than a kiss. It signified they belonged to each other and no-one else.

  When they parted, Steven realized how wrong he had been to have put her through all he had. “Miranda, maybe this isn’t the time to explain everything, but I can’t go back until I do. Please be patient with me, alright? Some of the memories are quite painful.”

  He then took her by the hand and led her to her buggy, and helped her up, then slowly slid in beside her. She could see by how long it took him to get into the buggy, that he had indeed been badly injured.

  “Please don’t interrupt, alright? Just let me finish what I have to say, and then I’ll answer any questions you may have.” She nodded, and took his hand.

  Slowly, he began. “Baby, you need to understand how things were. I don’t remember everything that happened. It was all so fast. Shells were flying over our heads. Michael and I had been together when we started out. I was running when a fragment of shell struck me on the side of the head. I didn’t feel any pain. I guess because it was such a quick, hard hit, and I went down. I was semi-conscience. Artillery was flying all around me.”

  Miranda watched him. He seemed to be visiting that time once more. She kept silent as he continued.

  “I remember being taken to a field hospital. Someone had wrapped my head in bandages. There were so many wounded lying about. Many of whom had had legs or arms amputated, or even both. It was a horrible sight, Miranda. You could hear the roar of musketry up and down the lines, and it seemed the cannon fire was nearly constant. Wagons continuously brought in the wounded. Death was all around me.”

  He was still looking straight ahead, but she could see the agony stretched across his face. “The doctor there dressed my wounds and put a ligature on the vein that was cut in my head. He told me the wound was more serious than he had first thought, and he sent me to a distributing hospital. I was then sent by train to another hospital, and was taken to one of the wards. I was really surprised with the conditions there. The rooms there were much nicer. I was given a bed immediately, where I fell off to sleep, but in all that time, I was consciously aware that I had no feeling in my legs, and had been unable to move them. The next day the doctor came in and checked me over. As I had suspected, I was paralyzed from the waist down. He didn’t know whether I would ever walk again.”

  Miranda tried soothing him, by gently stroking his hand, but still he continued. “For several days after I arrived there, I imagined I could hear the thunder of artillery. A couple of days after being in the hospital, my head wound became inflamed, and gangrene set in. But our ward surgeon, who had been practicing surgery for over twenty years, managed to get the gangrene out by applying Nitric acid and Iodine. But my fever kept going up and he didn’t think I would make it. Still they kept administering the medicine and a few days later, the fever broke, but, I was very weak. It felt as if I had no strength left in me. At this point I thought it best if I would just die. I knew I could never return home to you. You deserved someone who could walk and lead a normal life. I wasn’t going to saddle you with a cripple.”

  Miranda wanted to spe
ak, but she had to let him finish.

  He went on. “So I feigned amnesia. After all, I did have a head injury, so I knew I could pull it off. I had decided I would remain that way unless I gained use of my legs. I determined to myself that I would try to the best of my ability to walk again, and if that happened, I would return to you, and if it didn’t, I would remain dead.”

  He looked at her then, and saw her tears. “Maybe I was wrong, but it wouldn’t have been fair to you, Miranda. As long as you thought I was dead, you would have been free to go on with your life, to marry someone else.”

  She couldn’t keep silent any longer, “Steven, don’t you see? I don’t want someone else. I only want you. It doesn’t matter if you can’t walk perfectly. I don’t care about anything but you, can’t you see that? My life, since the moment you left, almost six years ago, has been useless. I’ve done nothing but grieve over you. Please tell me what kind of life that is, huh? I love you, Steven. Don’t you love me as much as you used to?”

  Staring into her eyes, he assured her, “Oh, Baby, you know I love you. Even more now, if that’s possible. But I know you’re engaged to Alec.” She looked surprised, as he added, “I guess I have a confession to make.” He was hesitant, but admitted, “Since I’ve been back, I’ve been keeping my eye on you.”

  She gasped. “Steven, do you mean you’ve been spying on me?”

  He slowly nodded his head.

  “But how was that possible?” She asked, confused. “I saw or heard no-one.”

  “Oh yes you did, Miranda. You just don’t realize it. I told you I was coming back soon, and I asked you to wait on me.”

  “Steven!” She gasped again. “Are you saying you were there, in my house?”

  “Yes,” he confessed guiltily.

  “But how did you get in? No-one saw you.”

  “I know. You see, I sneaked in when no-one was home, and hid in the room across from yours. I know I shouldn’t have, baby, but it was Christmas and I just had to be near you. I then came in your room when I thought you had fallen asleep, but when I spoke, you jumped and woke up. I hid in the hallway, and listened to you as you talked. I heard you say you were to marry Alec. Not wanting to come between you, I stayed away.”

  “I knew I had heard your voice, but I thought it was possible it had only been a dream. But what about the first time, shortly after you had been reported killed?” She shivered at the mention of that word. “I heard your voice vividly, telling me not to give up on you.”

  It was Stevens turn to look shocked. “How long Miranda? How long after I was reported killed did you hear that?”

  Puzzled, she replied, “I don’t know, a month or so, why?”

  “Because, once while lying in bed, my determination had grown stronger, and I spoke aloud. I had said, Miranda, please don’t give up on me. I’m coming home soon.”

  Miranda felt the chills start up her spine.

  “That’s the only thing I ever spoke aloud to you during my time in the hospital.”

  She stared lovingly into his eyes, feeling closer to him at this moment then she had ever felt in her life. It was amazing to realize how strong the connection was between them, for her to actually hear his voice from so far away. Suddenly she burst into tears.

  “Miranda,” Steven soothed, “What is it? Did I say something wrong?”

  “Oh Steven no, if you could only know how happy I feel inside right now, you would be crying too. I’m almost afraid to turn away, for fear you’ll disappear and I’ll find this is all just a dream. I have waited so long for you. This just doesn’t seem real.”

  Reaching out, he pulled her into his arms and said, “Well, baby, I can hardly believe it myself, being able to hold you in my arms again. I’ve dreamed of this moment since the day I left. I love you so much.” He leaned and kissed her once more. When he drew away, he declared, “Miranda, it’s getting too cold out here for you. We must be going. I don’t know what I’m going to say to everyone, but I know now it’s time to go home. I will admit though, I am a bit nervous.”

  “Don’t be Steven. Everyone knows you’re alive. We’ve been searching for you, and since we couldn’t find you, your family assumed you moved on. It’ll make them so happy to see that you haven’t.”

  Shaking his head, he remarked, “That little scamp. Sarah, I mean. I asked her not to tell anyone about me, but I guess she is just a child. I should have known she would say something.” Taking her hand in his, he admitted, “I think maybe deep down, I was hoping she would. It was becoming impossible to stay away from you any longer.”

  Miranda laid her head against his shoulder, and he slipped his arm around her. “Let’s not say anymore right now, Steven. Let’s just go home. I want to see you in the light. It’s been so long. Besides, I can’t wait to tell mama and papa. We can go there first, and you can freshen up, then if you want, I’ll go with you to your parent’s house, alright?”

  “Sounds perfect,” he agreed, “but first, look at me, baby.” She did as he asked, and he lowered his lips to hers. When he pulled away, he slipped his arm around her once more as she took the reins in her hands and drove toward home.

  Chapter XVI

  Frank and Mary had been waiting up on Miranda. By the time it had turned ten o’clock, and she still hadn’t returned, they were beginning to worry. Cassie and Ben had shown up shortly after Miranda had left, and had decided to stay until she returned. Arising from his chair, Frank went to the window and peered out. Turning, he announced, “If she’s not back by eleven I’m going to go look for her. I don’t care if she gets angry or not. She shouldn’t be taking so long.”

  Mary was also worried. This was so unlike Miranda, she thought. She was usually more sensible than this. It had been so foggy, she feared she had driven off the road and been hurt. “Frank,” she began, “why don’t you go now? She could be lying out there somewhere, injured, or even worse.”

  Shaking his head, he replied, “No, dear, I understand you’re worried, and so am I, but we have to allow her at least that much time.”

  “Don’t worry, Mama,” Cassie cut in, “Miranda’s alright. She’s always known how to take care of herself.”

  Just then they heard her returning. Frank was still looking out the window, but he couldn’t make out anything in this fog. So, they waited.

  A couple of minutes passed, before the front door finally opened and Miranda walked in. They were expecting to see her return as she had earlier this morning, feeling depressed and hopeless, but were surprised to see her mood had changed completely.

  They soon saw the reason for that change, for a second figure had entered the house, taking them all by surprise. They were speechless. This was such a shock. Cassie was the first to respond. “Steven!” She screamed, as she ran to him. Throwing her arms around his neck, she exclaimed, “You are alive! I’m so happy!”

  Wrapping his arms around her, he couldn’t believe his eyes, “Cassandra?” Drawing back, he shook his head. “Look at you. You’re all grown up. When I left, you were only thirteen or fourteen. You’ve turned into such a beauty.”

  Ben jumped in. “Hey, watch it!” He teased. “You happen to be talking about my wife.”

  But Steven knew he was only joking, and laughed. “You needn’t worry,” he assured him. “I only have eyes for her sister.” He glanced lovingly at Miranda and smiled.

  Ben then replied as he shook his hand. “It’s so good to see you, Steven. It’s about time you came back. We didn’t know what we were going to do with Miranda.” He looked at her and winked, then added, “She kept insisting you was alive, and she wouldn’t have stopped looking until she found you. I guess now, she can finally rest.”

  “I know,” he agreed, sounding guilty. “It was wrong of me to have put her through all I did, but it’s a long story. I’ll explain everything when I can.”

  By now Frank and Mary had joined them, and Mary went to him and hugged him. She had been silently praying all evening that Miranda would find him
. She felt so thankful.

  Frank shook his hand, and embraced him also. Steven had always seemed like a son to him. He was so relieved to see him alive.

  “Please Steven, come in and sit down,” Mary urged. “You must be exhausted.” She looked at Miranda and added, “You too, honey. You’ve hardly had any rest. Sit for a while and talk with your father and Ben, while Cassie and I go in and make you both some dinner. You must be starved.”

  Miranda agreed, she was hungry, but she was far too excited to eat. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Steven. It seemed impossible that he would be standing here in her house after all these years. As she watched him, she could see what toll the war had had on him. He was only twenty-four years old, but he looked much older. Although they weren’t too noticeable, she could see several small scars on one side of his face. When he had left six years ago, his hair was so soft and shiny. Now it was long and scraggly, and he was so thin. But now that he was back, all that would change. She would see to that. She knew his mother would also.